Difficulties of separation?- Part 1

Okay, so I know I am nothing like most military wives. Matt has only been gone for 4 weeks and chances are he won't ever be deployed like most enlisted. BUT, with that said, I feel that I have had a small glimpse of the difficulties of being separated from a spouse for military reasons. Granted, I have been extremely blessed and have been able to still talk to him nightly on a cell phone. That still doesn't make it easy. I honestly feel like the first 3 weeks were my own personal hell, but it has a preface. ALSO, I want to mention that this post will have some of my religious background mentioned in it.

So, back at the beginning of May, we found out we were expecting. It was planned, and we knew it would make things a bit more difficult. Our youngest was just turning 2 and we didn't want a huge separation between he and the next one. The problem, I get really sick when I'm pregnant. We knew we had 3 moves coming up (one to my parents, then to my in laws, then to Korea), lots of traveling for school, and Matt being gone for 6 weeks at BOLC. I never imagined it would be as difficult as it has proved to be though. So, instead of going into all the emotions of what's been going on right off the bat, here's another timeline:

• May 2015- Found out we were expecting (4 weeks or so along). 
• May 20th (roughly)- started feeling the morning sickness at about 6 1/2 weeks. 
• At 7 weeks, got an ultrasound :)
• May 21-28th- Started to try to pack up and get things ready to move. 
• May 25th- My mom came to help because Matt was still working and I was too sick to pack up and take care of the kids. We couldn't have moved when we needed to if not for her help. Thanks mom! 
• May 28th- Moved to my parents, who so graciously took care of the kids because I was sick. I was on zofran at this point and still throwing up at nights. My morning sickness came mostly at night. 
• June 2-6th- In Seattle for all of the graduation festivities. We stayed at my husband's uncle's house where I was sick most of the time. I even missed one of the big dinners for graduates. My husband took our daughter as his date and I kept our son. I got so sick on the way home after graduation that I was miserable the whole time. 
• June 9th- Visit to the in-laws house. I was sick, my father in law was actually my OB, so my husband asked him to get me an IV (I was pretty dehydrated due to the fact that most liquids and I did not get along). 
• June 11th- Matt left for BOLC
• June 14th ish- The kids started acting out (mostly towards just me) due to stress, lack of stability, no routine, no familiarity and our constant moving around. I was still really sick so it made it really hard on me. My parents had to take over a lot, all while trying to pack up and move out of their house as well. 
• June 19th- Move to the in-laws. I had started to feel a bit better for some reason, even though it was a month earlier than normal. I thought it was just the answer to a priesthood blessing (something practiced in my religion) I had received from my husband which mentioned I would be blessed to feel better when I need to feel better. 
• June 21st- Got flights to visit Matt in Texas during the 4th of July weekend since he had 3 days off. Finally, something to look forward to. Kids were not coming with me. At this point, I had been breaking down every night on the phone to my husband because my kids were being so difficult for me. 
• June 23rd- Ultrasound at 11 weeks 3 days. I had the kids with me because we had our physicals scheduled at the same time for our EFMP. Found out I had miscarried. I didn't think things could get worse, but I was proved wrong. The baby measured 9 weeks 1 day and of course there was no heartbeat. My body hadn't shown any signs of a miscarriage. 
• June 26th- Appt at Fairchild AFB for no fee passports. They didn't keep my appointment, made me wait for an hour and then basically said they couldn't help me because they were closing. The Sergeant over passports was extremely rude to me. I was feeling lots of anger that day due to the miscarriage, and it wasn't all that great for anyone in my way. My kids had been at other family's houses while I tried to process the miscarriage, but I picked them up that day. 
• June 30th- 2nd appt at the AFB and it went much better. Meanwhile, my body still hadn't show signs of miscarriage, but my heart rate was extremely high. 120 the whole day before, and that morning it had gotten up to 160. My mom was worried and insisted I go to urgent care. My Dr. told me to come home and he'd admit me to get things going in the hospital. 
• That night- got an ultrasound, nothing had changed. Got admitted to the hospital to start the process of expelling the baby. 
• July 1- Middle of the night cytotek working too well and I lost too much blood. Emergency D&C, went well, blood transfusion to follow. All of this was done alone by the way. 
• July 2-6th- Approved to still fly out to see Matt. I needed this trip and was grateful my father in law let me go, even though I was operating on 2/3 of my normal blood volume. 

Okay, so there's my timeline so far. I actually need to take a break so I will post more about this in my next post. It'll be more detailed as far as emotions and such go.